rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
