The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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