So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
