I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
