The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
