Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
