And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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