Banned from zoo.
Again?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize