ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
