My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
