I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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