Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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