so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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