you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize