you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
