i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
