I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
