I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
