I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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