that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
