btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize