I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
