i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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