He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
