but the lizard people decide everything anyway
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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