And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i now understand why vodka
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
