i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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