i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize