what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
