Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
