she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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