So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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