what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
