He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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