My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
