Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm passing your future prison.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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