So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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