party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
