Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
