Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
