is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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