Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
