think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
