dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
