i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
