I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
