Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Come share oat with me in your robe
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
