So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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