he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
