The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
