he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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