After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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