u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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