you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
