if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
