Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Randomize
