so explain again why im purple
no
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
