enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize