Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
