Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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