so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
