So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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