Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
