He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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