toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just pynch a tree in the face
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize