So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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