i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
